![]() ![]() i have to give it time.Īnyway, for me these words are most meaningful of all. but I'm trying not to rush into caring too much cause I've done it before and it kinda hurt. i almost see him as family, and i mean real family, like the older brother i always wanted but never had, one i could fully trust and who would understand me, teach me things about everything and be cool and chill. it wasn't even something difficult, it wasn't a big deal but it was. to hear this from this person who means more to me every time we talk, it just hits just right you know. when i tell y'all, i broke down and bawled my eyes out like a little kid. so today we were all talking and someone asked me something related to cars and i replied, it wasn't a big deal it was something i knew for sure but still was anxious what if i get it wrong. i don't show it, or at least i hope it isn't obvious. i don't know if it's because of the issues i have with myself but i sort of get emotionally attached pretty easily. out of them there's this one person i talked to a bit more, we share a few interests, he knows a lot more about them and i was excited to finally have someone to ask stuff I'm passionate about, things i don't understand from reading online. This year i made a few online friends, a group sort of. since then i tried to say it more often to other people too because maybe someone else needs to hear it as much as i did, even if it comes from a stranger. that hit me so hard i started crying the second i read it. I softly replied with a soft crack in my voice, 'Thank you. I reached for my eyes with my thumb and index finger working to dry the tears that welled in my eyes quickly, but it was too hard to hold them back. and i don't really expect them to be.Ībout a year ago i commented on a reddit post about something personal and someone replied "I'm proud of you, kid". Almost in shock, I asked him back, 'Youre proud of me' To which he replied, 'Yes, you' Still, in disbelief, I began to tear up in public. they don't have many reasons to be proud of me tbh. but the last 5 years have been progressively worse for me, I'm in a difficult situation with myself and i have very rarely and briefly opened up about it to anyone. ![]()
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